Ahhhhhhh….I just need to vent. Feel free to ignore me. :)
Do you know what sucks? What sucks is watching your 6 year old laying on the couch, unable to sleep because she doesn’t want to close her eyes in case the bad thoughts come. So you watch her, for a good hour, lay on the couch and stare at anything in an attempt to stay awake. I am helpless to help her in these situations. I can rub her back, hold her, rock her, and try to make her smile. But no matter what I do, she will still cry, still feel bad, still ask me if everything she touches is clean, still have that nearly constant neck tic, and have nights that she does not want to sleep.
She’s the most loving, thoughtful, and possibly the funniest child I have ever known. OMG, don’t get her started; once she’s on a roll, you will be laughing your ass off. She tries to make everyone happy, and thinks about others before she thinks about herself. But it’s this “thing,” this thing that has its grips on her that I cannot fix. I don’t want to change who she is, I just don’t want her to suffer because of it.
So I will sit on the couch with her, hold her, and tell her that everything is okay. And once again, she will thank me, tell me that she loves me, play with my hair, and hopefully drift off to sleep.